August 28, 2018
I received an email that said…
You’ve been nominated for 20 on the Rise! A brand new initiative brought to life by HoneyBook, Rising Tide, Gusto, and Peerspace, we’re celebrating individuals making waves through their hard work, determination and creativity in their respective industries.
We wanted you to know that someone believes that the work you’re doing empowers others and is making a lasting impact on the world! Over the next few weeks, we’ll be reading through nominations to select the finalists for this year’s 20 On the Rise, and will announce our award winners on August 28th.”
I’m not going to lie, I did a little happy dance and realized maybe….just maybe I was making a difference. This little dream of mine was really something and other people thought so too. Naturally the next step was voting for the people I thought should win! There are so many people in this industry that have impacted my life and I see them helping others every single day. You guys are the real MVPs. There are so many inspiring creatives out there, over 3000 people were nominated! Then self doubt kicked in and I shook my head and thought to myself there is no way that I will win.
On my 20 On The Rise application they asked my “title” and I listed about 5 different things. Girlboss, CEO, Mama, Owner, and Photographer. If I’m being honest I wear at least another 20 hats on an every day basis. Sometimes it’s hard to balance all of those hats. Sometimes you pay more attention to the business and less to family. Sometimes you focus on family and feel discouraged that you didn’t accomplish as much this month as you wanted to in your business. It’s a crazy balancing act and can sometimes wear you down. Today it wore me down to the point of crazy sobbing tears. Full on mental breakdown on the phone with one of my best friends (Jaz thank you for always being there for me) asking her why I am the way I am. She completely built me up like she always does. She reminded me of the badass that I am. We all have our good days and bad days. Is the journey worth it?
When I received the letter that I won I cried. I’ve received awards before but this one…this one means a bit more. People that follow me, people that have worked with me, people in my industry nominated ME as someone who is “empowering others and is making a lasting impact on the world.” A lasting impact on the world. That honestly makes my heart so full and my head feel like it’s going to explode. Yes, it’s my goal to make a difference. Yes, I want to change people’s lives. That’s always been the plan but I didn’t really know if I was doing it successfully. Thank you to the people who took time out of their day, out of their busy schedules, out of their lives to nominate me for this award. Knowing that you are out there makes the struggle worth it. I’ve been thinking about this nomination and what it truly means to me. I’ve been second guessing myself. Doubting myself. Being too hard on myself. This proves that my struggle is worth it because I am making a difference. Even if it’s just in one woman’s life at a time. It matters.
Today is a day of reflecting for me. I’m not sure what part of my journey you walked in on but it’s been a long one with lots of ups and downs (maybe I’ll write a book one day right Christy?). I’ve been trying really hard to share more about my personal journey on my IG but to be honest my social media is a highlight reel. You guys get to see all the great things that are going on like winning 20 On The Rise and seeing the new studio when it was finished. You don’t see the behind the scenes of being an entrepreneur, the hustle, the nitty gritty. It’s scary to share the bad parts, the struggles, the insecurities, and the not so pretty. You think you know but you have NO idea. So today I’m shouting out all of you creatives who hustle every single day to make your dreams a reality. I’m shouting out all of the creatives that lend a helping hand to someone who might need it. I’m cheering on all the new businesses and entrepreneurs that are breaking the rules. Single moms can I just send all my love to you? Seriously! You guys are the reason I do what I do. Don’t give up on your dreams even when the going gets tough. Don’t throw in the towel because only two people watched your live stream. Don’t feel like a failure if you get a bad review. You are doing amazing things and I believe in you. Cheers to us. Every single one of us badasses!
Thank you again to those that chose me for this award. I promise to continue showing up for you. I promise to keep cheering you on. I promise to share my heart with you. Love you babes.